Happy Endings Don't Always Exist .

This is an original spoken word piece I wrote after the trip to Ossington , which I explained in an earlier post . It's about homelessness . Through that trip , I was able to capture some of the emotions of the people who live in poverty and it inspired me to write a piece .

So Much for My Happy Ending

I keep trying.

I keep failing.

I keep crying.

From the moment I was born

I’ve been nothing in your eyes.

Failure is the only trait I’ve worn

And to you, that’s no surprise.

But what you fail to realize-

What you’ve always failed to realize;

Is that I am the result to your parenting skills.

But instead of it sending chills- down your spine

You feel excitement and thrills

Just at the thought that all along

You were right

Money is tight. Tight.

So tight, it had me up,

Restless at night.

So I thought if I gave it time

I could take this life

Turn it around

And make it mine again.

Guess I was wrong.

Damn.

I’ve been out here so long.

Lonely and cold.

Nowhere to go.

Nowhere to run.

No one to hold.

No one to love.

No one to show me that

Everything will be alright.

That life will get better.

Better… Will it? Can it?

These people; every minute of everyday

They pass me by.

They see me… don’t they?

I’m invisible.

I used to be invincible.

Somewhere, somehow

Along the lines

I lost it. Lost it all.

I keep telling myself

“Hold on”

You were at the top;

You made it there all on your own.

Something will happen.

Someone will hear you.

God will hear me.

God? Are you still there?

Do you still believe in me?

Or have you left me- given up on me

Abandoned me

Like the rest of the world has.

I am still a person.

I have emotions.

I cry tears.

I feel pain.

I feel the coldness of the rain.

I have fears.

And right now, I fear that this is the end.

And although I didn’t intend

For things to be like this;

I can’t go back.

This is my life.

I’m going to keep trying.

I’m going to keep failing.

Soon, I shall be dying.

 Summer Fierce

Gift of Love .

I usually have money saved up from babysitting over the summer vacation to buy gifts , but this year I don't . I thought I'd make money from the job I had , but due to some circumstances , I quit after three weeks . So now I'm left broke . My mom works at a hospital in Toronto , and every year there's a Holiday dinner and a raffle . This year , to our surprise , she won . The prize was a stay at this beautiful five star hotel , which is also where the dinner was held . It was supposed to be just for my parents , but my mom doesn't like going places without us , so we all went . While our parents were downstairs at the dinner party , my brother , sister and I were in the hotel room having fun . We watched the Lion King , my all-time favourite movie and we watched The Princess and the Frog , which I actually liked . Before we watched the movies , we had dinner , my sister and I had Thai food , which I absolutely love and my brother had McDonald's , of course . After we ate , we all went downstairs to the pool . I didn't bring anything to swim in , which I later regretted , so I sat on the side . The pool area was BEAUTIFUL . I've never been to such an extravagant hotel like that in my life , so it was quite an experience . There was a whirlpool to the side and then a huge swimming pool . The change rooms had saunas in them . The dining area , where we enjoyed a very appetizing breakfast was absolutely stunning . I kept telling my sister I felt like we were on set of a movie scene ; it was that gorgeous .

The Pool @ the Grand Hotel

Anyway , back to my point , which was how much fun it was having that quality time with the family . That made me realize that the greatest gift of all doesn't cost anything . It's love . So this Christmas , I plan on spending all my love on my family . I always write them heart-felt cards , so maybe this year I'll make a gift from the heart .  



Summer Fierce

Germs .

What's the point of Germs & Bacteria ? I know there's good bacteria , but why do the bad ones exist ? I'm sure there's a scientific explanation as to why they exist , but I'm not interested in that . I mean they cause so much stress with the flu , viruses and many times death , so why would God allow them to roam the earth ? It just doesn't make any sense to me . Can you imagine how much more calm and peaceful the world would be if they didn't exist ? You wouldn't have to worry about getting flu shots , hepatitis shots , taking vitamins to fight off the cold and all that nonsense . You would have so much less to deal with and stress about . Germs are everywhere ! That's something that so many parents worry about with their kids . They try so hard to protect the kids from it , but it never seems to work . Should everyone have their own bubble to live in ? Maybe that's the only way to avoid germs all together . At least for now it is . There's Lysol , but that only kills 99.9% of germs . 0.1% germs may not sound like a lot , but it's enough to make a whole family sick for weeks . And now with Global Warming becoming more and more of a problem , there are even more germs ! Which means more viruses and diseases and more medicine and shots . What is this ? Germs have their own circle of life ? I say we just spray the entire world , every corner of it with Lysol so we have less to worry about . But that's not realistically possible , now is it ?

Summer Fierce

My Definition of a Best Friend .

What characteristics does one withhold to be considered a best friend ?

Is it someone you talk to when you're in a time of need or is it someone you talk to ALL the time ? A best friend is someone who shares all your moments of glory and all your moments of pain with . It's someone who you can always count on to cheer you on , hold your hand , be your shoulder to cry on , be the one that yells at you and yells at you until you find your mind again . A best friend is someone you can condole in and someone you are comfortable enough to tell anything . A best friend is someone that is so close to you , you can barely tell they're not biologically related to you . A best friend is someone that cries with you , laughs with you , screams with you , loves you , holds you , and cherishes you . A best friend is like a mother , a father , a sister , a brother ; they can shape shift into who ever you need them to be . A best friend knows you like the back of their hand . You are like an open book to them ; no secrets , no lies . There is a certain trust that a best friend is able to build with you and it can never be broken . Friends are there to listen to what you say . Best friends are there to listen to what you say and what you don't say . When you have a past that's too hard to look back at , or you have a future that holds countless terrors and you are to afraid to look back or ahead ; you can look right beside you and that's where you're best friend will stand forever . A best friend is someone that never walks in front of you ; out of fear you may not follow . A best friend is someone who never walks behind you ; out of fear you may get lost . A best friend is someone that walks beside you . They guide you ; you guide them . When you feel like the whole world has their backs turned on you ; like every one is walking out of your life , your best friend will walk , run into your life . A best friend is someone that sees the pain behind your smile . A best friend is someone that would put them self on the line to save you . A best friend is your guiding light in the darkness . A best friend is someone that tells you everything ; hides nothing from you .
That's what a best friend is to me .

"Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say."
- Anon

Summer Fierce

That's Not a Bad Habit ; It's Just Stupid .

Why do people smoke ?

Who invented the cigarette ?

Why would he do that ? !

It's becoming more and more common to see young adolescents smoking . It's disgusting . After observing people at school , I realized that at least half of the people there partake in some sort of drugs or alcohol . But why ? Is it to be cool ? Or do they actually get a thrill out of destroying their body and corrupting their own minds ? Besides the fact ; how do these under-aged teens manage to always get there hands on the stuff ? Where are our cops ? I see them circling the hall-ways of my school everyday . I've seen students dealing drugs right there in those same halls . What's the point of having those officers there ? The problem's only amplifying . They are really not doing their jobs . It's not like the students are only smoking cigarettes either ; they've gotten their hands on some of the most illegal substances and they are continuing to get away with it . There should be a law that allows teachers to tell the parents of the students . As soon as the smokers step off of school property , they are allowed to get themselves involved in just about anything and the teachers can't stop them . The teachers probably feel helpless and hopeless . There are some straight A , top of the class students that go down that road as well and no one can stop them ; or at least , no one tries to . They're scared they'll get on their bad side and either make them hate you or go even further down the road . It's complicated and it's stupid . But I don't bother getting myself involved with them . I figure that if they want to ruin their lives and damage their health , than so-be-it . It's not me that it's hurting , it's themselves . Maybe it'll hurt a little to know that my friends are choosing drugs over our friendship , school or health , but it'll hurt them a lot more in the long-run .

I'm just glad that my parents brought me up and taught me to always take the path of least resistance .

Summer Fierce 

Walking in a Winter Wonderland .

I celebrate Christmas & Diwali . I'm Hindu . I never understood why my family celebrates Christmas . I guess it's because I never asked . I never asked because I didn't want to stop because I loved all the presents and lights and food . Christmas is supposed to be a time of joy , happiness and spending time with your loved ones . That's one of my few lines in this play I'm in called The Christmas Redemption . For many , that's not the castle . It's either a hustle and bustle to get everything ready for the holidays , such as gifts , hair , nails , food , etc . , and then for others it's a time of grieving over a lost loved one , financial constraints , loss of job , etc . So Christmas can and is of great depression for many . Those who are able to find that happiness and warmth should really embrace those moments , thank God and never take them for granted . At any given moment , in a flash , all of that can be gone . Life is full of surprises . I'm one of the lucky ones , I guess . I spend every Christmas with my family in a warm house . My parents make the seasonal food , which I absolutely love and we decorate the house - inside and out . Even if we can only afford to give each other the smallest gift , we do so with love and treasure it . We write each other cards that are worth more than any gift on the planet is worth because of what is written in them . I think that's the greatest gift of all ; the gift of love . Which is why it is especially hard for those who don't have anybody to love or to love them . Seeing all these smiles everywhere they look , just adds to their sorrow of not having that .

So this Christmas , my goal is to give at least one person the gift of happiness and love . It can be a complete stranger , or someone I know that I've never reached out to . I challenge you to do the same . Make a difference in someone's life . You never know ; you may even be the reason they hold on and make it through this holiday .

Summer Fierce 

Post - Production of Scripted Scenes .

After a long-awaited chance to perform due to minor setbacks in our class schedule and me being sick for a number of days , we finally did it . Unfortunately , I wasn't anywhere near completely recovered from my illness , so I wasn't able to put %100 into it . But that's no excuse . I felt my lungs getting smaller and smaller , I felt like I was going to throw up on stage . Thank God I didn't . The backstage scene was a last minute decision Jasleen , my scene partner , and I made . It worked out pretty well , but had we created the idea sooner on , it would have been so much better . Personally , I feel that we rushed through the scene . We forgot a couple of pauses and ran right through the climatic point . I wasn't paying attention to the music while I was on stage , so I don't remember what was being played , which is a bad thing because the music is supposed to set the mood for the audience AND the actors . Clearly , it didn't . I think the script kind of took a huge toll on how well we performed too . It wasn't all that interesting and the climax wasn't very evident . If we could do this whole performance again , we would definetly choose a better script and rehearse more . We would make all decisions at least two days before the performance to give us time to stage it all and work with our tech people . We haven't received our notes on the performance yet or our grade , so we have no idea what the rest of the class and our teacher might have seen it as . Who knows , maybe we did better than we think we did . Hopefully .

Summer Fierce